Log24

Jessica H: My parents' usual ritual was that shortly before Dad's expected arrival at home, Mom would freshen up in preparation. She put on a little lipstick, take off her apron sometimes, and maybe change her blouse, splash on some perfume, and when Dad was home and settled in his favorite chair in the living room, they'd pour drinks and discuss the events of the day, his day.

Some months ago my mother gave me an article that she'd found from the 1950's that offered tips to women on the proper way to welcome your man at home after a hard day's work. She read me those guidelines and her comments on them revealed that she had fooled us all. While back in the day she had seemed to be that era's model of a perfect housewife, she was actually downright subversive.

Eleanor H: "Prepare yourself, take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives." Meanwhile, the kids are throwing their blocks out the window.

Jessica H: (laughs)

Eleanor H: "Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair." If I put a ribbon in my hair my husband would leave home. "Be fresh looking, be a little gay and a little more interesting." If he's so bored he should change jobs. "He Probably needs a lift."

Eleanor H: "Prepare the children." Make sure you have just one. (laughs)

Jessica H: (laughs)

Eleanor H: "Take a few minutes to wash their hands and faces. They are little treasures, and he would like to see them like that." Well, wouldn't we all. (laughs)

Jessica H: (laughs)

Eleanor H: "Be happy to see him, greet him with a smile, and be glad to see him." One more mouth to feed. "Have dinner (laughs) have dinner ready." He doesn't care a thing about dinner, he wants his drink. "Most men are hungry when they come home." Here you are meat loaf, mashed potatoes. Stuff it down 'cause I worked hard on it.

Jessica H: (laughs)

Eleanor H: "Have him lean back into a comfortable chair, or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom." How about suggesting that we both lie down in the bedroom?

Jessica H: (laughs)

Eleanor H: "Make the evening his. Never complain if he doesn't take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment." You could just rot instead. (laughs) "Try to understand his world of strain and pressure." What about my world of strain and pressure? "Try to make your home a place of peace and order, where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit," while you go down the tubes.

Jessica H: (laughs)

As mom said, she understood that what Dad really required was a drink. He needed to be defused, and we kids steered clear of that living room until that essential transition from sober to tipsy had taken place. Sometimes when my brother Charlie was a little older, nine or ten, he'd venture into their space, but only very cautiously.

— http://www.winnetkapodcast.com/episode-6-transcript