Certain Things
by Murray L. Bob
DEATH:
- The great equalizer.
- The only vacation for which you need no reservation.
- Death was more acceptable when people didn’t live as long. More proof, if any was needed, that the more you have, the more you want.
- There is something comforting about its finality. There is nothing unexpected about death except the time, place, and manner of its occurrence.
- The solution is dissolution.
- Has an undeservedly bad reputation: think of all the sons-of-bitches it’s ridden us of.
TAXPAYER COMPLAINT:
The people who benefit the most from research are never the people who pay for it.
Both items above are from
A Contrarian’s Dictionary Strikes Again! —
2001 Impudent Definitions For the 21st Century,
by Murray L. Bob.
Murray, a library director, checked out during National Library Week, April 6-12, 2003. From the work quoted above, two of his classic parting shots:
LIBRARY:
When you look at everything else in this town you know there shouldn’t be a great library here. Fortunately, the librarians don’t know this.
LIBRARIANS:
Old librarians never die, they just close the books.
